Holidays over...

And what fantastic holidays they were!

After spending Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with the kids, they went off to their Dad's and Nigel and I hopped on a plane to Cuba for 8 days.  Paradise!  28 degrees every day and no rain.  Lounged by the pool, snorkeled in the coral reef, drove speed boats, swam in crystal clear waters, tanned on a white sand beach...all-inclusive drinks and food, entertainment every night and a glass of champagne and a kiss at midnight on New Years Eve.  I couldn't have asked for anything more...except maybe another week there!

But the holidays are over and it's back to real life.

I did manage to actually lose a few pounds while I was away, but I need to get serious now and get rid of this weight once and for all.  I've started back on the medication and testing again, but my numbers don't seem to be very good.  I am hoping the increase in exercise and losing some weight will help bring me closer to the right numbers.

This week I'm going to work on my breakfasts.  The right number of carbs and hopefully adding some more dairy to them.  Will also be hitting the gym each day while the kids are in school.  Busy week with a big catering job on Saturday.

Was feeling a bit down on things earlier this weekend, but have picked up today.  I am working on accepting that life isn't always going to be how we think it should and be open to change and living life differently, but still happily.  It's a daily battle, but I will continue to tell myself that everyday.

Anyway...off to bed!  Will check in tomorrow.

It's DONE!

Pictures from my finished home renovation!

Open houses on Saturday and Sunday this week.  Fingers crossed it sells quickly and for full-price!

Today hasn't yeiled too much besides work on the house.  Tonight I decorate my Dad's place for my cookie exchange on Sunday.  Then the rest of the weekend will be spent at the house or with Nigel.  We are thinking of another night in Niagara Falls, just for fun.  We are thinking of a trip down to Vegas in December once his passport arrives.

Only other news...I weighed myself today and I am down 8 lbs from 2 weeks ago!  I must be doing something right!

Jenny

I have returned, although given the early hour, not much has happened.  Still, I am here and that is the only goal I set for myself yesterday.  Why did I not come later so I could talk about my day?  Well honestly, I don't when I will get chance...

I have been renovating my house for months now and tomorrow is my deadline.  A photographer is coming to take pictures of it to go up on MLS to list my house for sale.  This reno is probably the hardest thing I have ever done but I have learned many things: how to lay hardwood, how to lay ceramic tile, plumb in sinks and toilets, install pot lights and re-wire plugs, tile a backsplash, install a kitchen...the list goes on and on!  The main thing I learned is that I neither like or should be doing home renovations.  Now I don't mind doing small home ones...SLOWLY.  But doing a full house in as quick a time as possible?  Nope, never again, not for me.

Today I will probably be there until the late, late hours, but it will get done and besides a few small things tomorrow and getting the last few things taken out of the store room, it will be DONE!  And nothing will make me happier right now than to have it finished...besides an offer of full asking price and a move in date before Christmas ;)

Tomorrow I will be back.  Again that is my only goal for tomorrow.  Once the house is done though, things will get tougher!

Jenny

P.S. Pictures of the house will follow!

Starting Over...Again...

It's time to start again.  Honestly, my body and mind need it...

Starting with my mind...

I separated from my husband.  It was an extraordinarily tough decision.  I always felt that once you were married, that was it.  It didn't matter if you were unhappy, you sucked it up and kept marching forwards.  I figured that is how marriage is supposed to be.  But after my Mum died, the little voice inside my head that was quietly telling me that I was unhappy, started to get a lot louder.  I saw a therapist and it helped immensely.  I did some stupid things too.  I lashed out and did things that I thought would make me happy.  I definitely needed change, but went about it the wrong way and hurt some people in the process.  Still the outcome was needed.

It's been over 2 years and it is still hard.  I don't regret the decision to leave, but it certainly has turned my life completely upside down...sometimes for the worse, but most of the time for the better.  And the better is what matters.

In this time I was also diagnosed with diabetes...hence, the body...

Things are still not under control. It's been a year and a half.  Sugars are still high.  The medication sucks and is expensive.  But I am determined to make it better.  It's the only thing that can be done.

So what is the plan?

Well, "the body" is easy:

• take my medication every day
• test my blood glucose multiple times a days
• get my diet back to where it should be for a diabetic
• start exercising 5 times a week
• lose weight
• continue with appointments with the eye doctor
• see my doctor regularly
• regularly attend meetings at the diabetes clinic

I will add more as time goes on, but these are things I need to work on now to get to where I need to be healthy.

As for "the mind", it's harder.  This will be an ever changing list that keeps evolving over time.  Some to start out:

• find my place in the culinary world - I know it's where I want to be, now to find my best fit
• become the best Mum I can be to my kids (not the one I *think* I should be)
• nurture my new relationship with a wonderful man
• journal, journal, journal (or blog, blog, blog)...this is always good for my mind to get things out

I know that I tend to be so overly strict on myself that I set myself up for failure.  I realize I need to do this forever, so babysteps are necessary.  So tomorrow's goal is just to report back here and write.  I doubt anything on the lists will get accomplished tomorrow, but talking about it and keeping on task is a good start.

Jenny

P.S. Signed up for http://www.loseit.com and also downloaded it to my phone.  Probably won't be perfect for a week or so, but I'm going to keep tracking everything there, just to see where I'm starting from before I dive in.

Day 2 of Phase 1

Well is was very shocked with this mornings weigh-in. From 183lbs to 179lbs! 4lbs is A LOT. I am guessing it is mostly water weight, but it's nice to see the scale moving.

The doctor's office called today to tell me that although it's not urgent, he'd like to speak to me about my test results. I booked in for the 28th. About 10 minutes later they called back to say it was more urgent than that and I'm now booked in for Thursday (17th). I am slightly concerned. I can deal with diabetes...but I'm constantly worrying that the day will come when I'm diagnosed with cancer, like Mum. I really need to try and keep it off my mind for the next 2 days. Won't be easy!

No exercise again today...still dealing with strep throat. Once this heals up I will start though.

Meals coming a bit later...

Day 1 of Phase 1

New diet begins today!

Starting weight: 185lbs

Current weight: 183lbs

A brief overview for how the next 2 weeks to a month will look:

• Lots of protein - chicken, lean beef, pork, fish, seafood, low-fat cheese, eggs and nuts
• Lots of vegetables - everything, including beans and lentils, but excluding potatotes (including sweet/yam), corn, beets and carrots
• Drinks - no beer, wine or anything with sugar - small amounts of skimmed milk and anything sugar-free

Now today wasn't a perfect example of how I should eat. The plan is

breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. But I woke up with a VERY sore throat and it turns out I have strep throat. As a result, I didn't want to eat quite as much.

Breakfast:

Sauted red onions, 4 colours of bell peppers, tomatoes, garlic and a slice of bacon. Scrambled in 3 eggs and added salt and pepper and parsley. Sprinkled a mix of cheeses on top.

At lunch I finished the eggs above and also had some raw sugar snap peas

Dinner was my favourite! I stuffed a chicken breast with spinach, garlic and feta cheese, grilled some asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper and then made a small salad of sliced cherry tomatoes and sliced mini Boccancini cheese, seasoned with olive oil, balsamic vinegar and salt and pepper. The whole meal was delicious.

I ended the day with a couple of peanuts and a few slices of chicken breast.

No exercise...just too ill. Spent the day in bed.

Starting over...forever

Well I have been here before...fat! Back in 2000 I gained 50lbs in 6 months. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. At that point, armed with a crying baby, a husband who worked all the time and likely a little postpartum depression, that fat wasn't going anywhere.

I then had another baby in 2003 and that didn't help. I finally reached my highest weight of 185lbs. I was miserable! But this time my outlook was better. January 2004 I told myself it was time. I didn't want to be an overweight 26 year old. So I began Weight Watchers Online.

By June of 2004 I was down to 131lbs. I was thrilled and felt like a million bucks! But then time marched on and my absolute love of food...and my hatred of jogging...took over and I stopped being strict. Then Mum got sicker. I just stopped caring. I was a Mum and it took up all my time...no time to be me.

Fast forward to the present. Back up to 185lbs and starting to have some negative effects on me. I am fearing diabetes…Mum had it, I had gestational diabetes during both pregnancies and I also have PCOS which leads to insulin resistance and diabetes. So off to the doctors I go and the tests begin. I am currently waiting for results, but do feel that I am diabetic or at least pre-diabetic.

My doctor suggested a diet and as I’d done some research, I also had some ideas. We came to a conclusion and I have decided to start. This blog will be a journal for me as I hopefully improve my health and fitness.